I Can’t Find a Heartbeat

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5 words I don’t know if I will ever forget.  That’s what we heard from the nurse last Thursday as we were looking at the first ultrasound of our new baby.  So shocking I had to ask Michelle what she said because I couldn’t have heard her right.  I see the baby plain as day right there on the ultrasound.  Sure it was hard to find, but there it is.  I see it.  Even typing this now, it is hard to imagine.

For the last week we have been struggling with the thought that our surprise third addition to our family may not be coming after all.  The doctors said that sometimes it is difficult to catch the heartbeat this early, but they were concerned with the growth.  At the time of the ultrasound the baby should have been at 8 weeks and based on the size, it was just over 5 weeks growth.  We were told that we needed to come back in 1 week to see for sure if there was a heartbeat and if there was growth.  If they saw either that we would have to monitor things.  If we saw neither, than the pregnancy was not viable.

Not viable, such cold, thoughtless words for a couple whose world has just been rocked.  I can understand trying to not get attached, but you’re too late for that.  Names thought about, outfits purchased, family/friends/kids told.  It still feels like time is standing still in that office, trying to take it all in.  Process it.  Digest it.  I know this is your job, but can you possibly try and sympathize with your patient.  Imagine what they are going through.

A week of prayer and hopeful thinking has gone by and we visited the doctor again yesterday.  It’s just a shame that hopefully thinking did not come true.  The harsh reality I think Michelle and I both knew had come true that there had been no growth.  The baby was still at 5 weeks and there was no heartbeat.  The doctor said that more than likely at the 5th week mark that for whatever reason the baby stopped growing.  More than likely it was a chromosome issue that affected the baby and caused it to stop growing.  1 in 3 pregnancy’s this happens he says.  A stat I never wanted to be completely a part of.

Sorry to tell some of you like this, but to be honest I dreaded this day.  Coming into work having to tell people, actually verbalizing it, I think reliving it over and over makes it worse.  I hope you can understand and forgive me for telling you like this.

Thank you all for your support, your love, your prayers.

Nothing Special

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Just a quick update since it’s been over a month, I know, I know, sorry.  I really wish I had a little spare time sometimes.

All is well on the home front.  Morgan and Matthew are doing very good.  No issues to speak of other than Matthew’s not listening and getting in trouble.  Morgan’s getting pretty big 🙂  I think Michelle mentioned 16 pounds recently.  We have an official doctors appointment the 20th so can update you then.  Matthew is learning more numbers and letters everyday.  He just came downstairs and had a Pizza Hut magnet in his hand and rattled off the phone number and said “Daddy let’s call Pizza Hut, I like Pizza Hut for dinner.”  He’s smart, sometimes too smart 🙂  Also some new pics added.  Not much outside of our trip to the zoo, but a few decent shots.

My Beautiful Babies

Work is work.  Keeping me very busy.  The week vacation I had in October seemed to just disintegrate into nothing.  I have 4 weeks to squeeze into the last bit of the year and that’s not gonna happen.  I am taking a week after Thanksgiving and two more after Christmas, but the third is not going to happen.  I honestly can’t wait for the one after Thanksgiving.  I just want some time off.  Try and relax around the house and not think about computers for awhile.  But I doubt that will be the case.  Christmas we have plans to go see my family down at Bethany beach again.  Becoming almost tradition and I don’t mind it at all.  I love the beach.  Hate the sand, love the beach so the cold weather makes it great since I don’t have to get hounded for take me to the beach 🙂

I’ve got a couple of other blogs floating in my head, but just don’t feel like articulating them right now with the laundry and dishes to do so they will have to wait for vacation.  Hope that catches up for now and keeps you subdued for at least a few weeks.  Not much else to report.  Hope everyone out there is doing well.

Love and Miss you All!  Scott

P.S. before I forget.  Anyone wanting to know gift ideas for Christmas, Michelle’s dad is getting us a Wii, which I am grateful for since that was what I was going to get, so anything Wii related for any of us, since it will definitely be used by all of us 🙂  For Matthew he is in love with Star Wars, Spiderman, Iron Man, and Transformers.  Cars is still good, but he has pulled away from them quite a bit.  For Morgan, clothes would be great, 9-12 months.  And if you actually were thinking about Michelle or I, feel free to put anything towards the kids.  This year is gonna be tight for us with the two houses so I have no problem everyone neglecting us.

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Miller Family Update

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So since I have been so horrible about keeping everyone up to date here is a month’s worth of updates to try and catch everyone up.

Matthew – He is doing fine.  Think he is starving for attention, or at least he thinks so, now that Morgan is here so he seems to be getting in a lot more trouble for not listening.  All in all though he is great with Morgan and loves her, accept when she pukes then he goes running 🙂  He loves playing with her and talking to er and there really is a connection between the two.  Morgan loves to look at him and he makes her laugh all the time.  We have been watching a lot of the Food Network, I am dying for my DirecTV, and Matthew has been watching as well.  So anytime Michelle is cooking Matthew has been wanting to help.  Right now Michelle is cooking dinner and Matthew is trying to do anything to help her out, it’s great to see him taking an interest in some things as he gets older.

King of the Hill You Crack Me Up

Morgan – Is doing great.  Growing like a weed and all.  We had our most recent doctors appointment on Tuesday of last week and she was 13lbs and 24.25 inches long.  She has one tooth coming in that has been coming in for some time.  With the tooth coming in she drools non-stop.  Michelle puts two bibs on her all the time because the first one soaks through in a matter of minutes all most.  Not only does she drool but she spits, or makes raspberries with her mouth which makes it wore as well.  Because of all the drool and such I have started calling her bubbles and Michelle calls her Rabid Baby, as you can see why below.  She is laughing a ton and talking as well.  Always smiling until of course she has to sleep then its all screams.  She does not like to sleep at all and at max can only stay down for about 3 or 4 hours at night.

Closeup of Bubbles Or Rabid Baby Cute as a Pea Playtime on the Floor

Michelle and Scott – As if anyone is interested in us 😉  Michelle is doing good.  Outside of lack of sleep everything is good.  Concern for family due to hurricane Ike, but that has subsided since we have had reports of no major damage from family.  I have been swamped at work as always.  Thanks to hurricane Ike I was watching over our Port Arthur office traffic from Philly and thanks to Gustav I was watching our New Orleans traffic as well.  All this while my number one guy Jose was on vacation on a cruise ship in the Carib being chased by Gustav and Ike 🙂  Outside of work there isn’t much else for me.  Come home and try and relax some before it all starts over again 🙂

Family and Friends – Hurricane Ike caused a lot of grief worrying about family and friends, but the good news is almost everyone came out with only minor damage.  I still have not been able to get in touch with my father, which I will be picking up the phone as soon as I am done typing to try and get him again, but that’s nothing new there so I am not that concerned.  If something were wrong I think I would have gotten a call so not too worried.  The one exception was Aliceson Haynes.  We just learned that their family took extensive damage to their home.  Aliceson and her family just sold their home and purchased their current home a little over a month ago.  Luckily their flood insurance kicked in the day the storm hit so they should be ok financially, but just thinking about all the memories and personal items that were lost that can never be replaced is heartbreaking.  Please keep Aliceson in your thoughts and prayers as they recover from the storm.

Vacation – Many of you know we typically take vacation around the time our company has our managers meetings because they are held in Houston and it’s easy for us to stay down there a week before or after.  We were setting everything up and got word last week that the meetings have been moved from Houston to Philly thanks to Ike.  So vacation this year looks to be ruined.  I still am planning on taking some time off just to try and recharge, but other than that we probably wont be doing much for the rest of the year.  After hearing Jose’s wonderful comments about his cruise I am really leaning towards going on a cruise next year as our big family vacation.  We’ll see how it goes.

Think that about does it for us.  That should keep you occupied on us for the past month or so.  Will try and keep you posted a little better but if you’re reading this you know me 🙂  Vacation is next week and I hope to get to the Zoo and the par a few days with Matthew at least so I should be posting quite a few pics, so keep your eyes posted.


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Ah, the Memories…

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Digging through some stuff that had been packed up for forever, uncovered some really old stuff from my high school years.  Amazingly enough I had some pictures from my First Baptist Church days in Port Arthur.  That being said as well as a request by some of the FBC gang I posted some of them.  Enjoy.

The Three Amigos The Things I Put Up With The Pledge The Pledge The Pledge Super Summer Group Photo Lunch at Super Summer

Two other miscellaneous pics.  Michelle and I visiting my grandparents.  Me with two cheerleaders from high school, Jennifer LaHaye and Ellen Robbins.  My Senior Skip Trip 🙂 to Disney World with my grandparents, Kate, and Ryan.

Scott and Michelle at Grandmoms Ah the Love Senior Skip Trip, Disney World

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Welcome Malachi Elijah Scott to the family!

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We want to congratulate Elayna and Scott on their new addition to the family. Malachi Elijah Scott was born the 10th of December 2004 at 12:25 am weighing in at 5 pounds 13 ounces and 17.5 inches long. We’ll have pictures up when we get back from vacation.

Counting friends and family we almost have enough for a baseball team now!

Congrats again guys!